Submergence

I haven’t been sure of exactly what I want to share within this space recently. 

I’ve been reflecting on where I am on my journey in this human experience. 

I’ve been witnessing a multitude of patterns as well as adjustments.

Forever transforming, my natal Mars is in my 8th house. 

I am driven to constantly shed and evolve. 

It’s written in the stars.

Back in January, I chose growth to be my word for the year. 

I asked the Universe to support me with this intention and push me to grow.

Man, has she delivered. 

I’ve been feeling the nudges that I’m meant to sit with my shadow in a way that I haven’t yet. 

It’s time to journey into the depths in a way I’ve yet to experience. 

This has been a new era of shadow work.

I know I’ve done deep work, but when really observing myself, I realized I’ve merely been acknowledging. I’ve still only just begun the deep dive. 

Submergence. 

I’ve been honoring my wounds.

Addressing them.

Sharing them.

Now it’s time to better understand them, integrate them, and reveal to myself what I still keep sealed beneath the masks. 

Intimacy. Into - me - I - see.

I dig within and find what needs to be re-patterned & alchemized. 

Over. and. Over. Again.

Guilt to love.

Victim to power. 

Fear to curiosity.

Understanding to inner standing.

This past year, I have invested in myself more than ever before. 

I carved out the space needed for me to grow and called in the necessary experiences.

They found their way onto my path.

A little over a month ago, a sweet sister attuned me to the Reiki Master Level. 

I’ve been desiring this last attunement for years, but knew that it would happen when, and with who it was meant to. 

Well, there it was. 

The opportunity to open myself up and attune to a new frequency for the trade of a bodywork session with me. 

Are you kitten me?! Heck yeah. 

Thank you, Universe. 

Holy moly, friends. 

In order to be able to contain and channel this energetic upgrade, I had to release energies that no longer serve me. These were both my own, as well as energies and karmas passed down to me.

I was the sickest I have ever been in my life. One full day of purging followed by a day of being exhausted in a way that can only be described as knowing that what I released was ancient in its grip. I believe that our souls carry experiences from other lifetimes into our current one, as well as through our lineage.

So..yeah, friends.

That’s the type of energy that I’ve been sitting with, and also, you know - living everyday life. 

Not trying to leave you with a cliff hanger, but that is all that I am willing to share about that experience at the moment. 

I’ve been allowing myself to experience the vast range of my emotional capacity. 

As I’ve mentioned before, grief is a familiar feeling.

I’ve been letting myself experience joy. True joy. 

For a long time I didn’t believe that I deserved to. I still don’t at times. 

I’ve experienced some really sweet, high moments in this past month alone. Even while in the midst of these charged moments, grief will bubble up and sit right next to joy.

I’m letting them mingle.

These pangs of grief intermingling with my moments of joy can only crack my heart open further. 

I am intending them too. 

I have already lived the experience of a closed heart.

I desire to experience a heart cracked wide open.

Beaming even though it is broken.

I hope that this love note helps you feel a little less alone as you navigate whatever is occurring in your current reality. 

Sending love. Take care of yourselves, friends.

Love, Light, & Darkness,

Nadia